How To Save a Life
by Goldenponygirl
Summary: I won't eat, well Barley eat. I now hurt myself. I'm confused after Johnny and Dally's deaths. Can anyone save me before I take my own life? {song fic. to How to Save a Life by The Fray. NOT A ONE SHOT}
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys I was reading depressing fanfic so I decided I'd do this. I had this idea for a while now...**

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_Step one, you say, We need to talk_  
_He walks, you say, Sit down, it's just a talk_  
_He smiles politely back at you_  
_You stare politely right on through_

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I look at the plate of food in front of me. I poke it around my plate. Sodapop walks in and frowns when he sees me.

"Pone... we need to talk. You haven't really been eating-" He starts before I cut him off.

"Yes I have. You haven't seen me though." I stood up, " I have to go do my homework." I scrape my uneaten food back in pan.

"Pone..." He sighs. As I walk by he grabs my arm, " Fine but I have to see you eat dinner tonight."

" I will." I lied. In reality I didn't have any homework. I just sat at my desk drawing. I heard the gang come in one by one.

_Not Johnny and_ _Dally..._

They both died last year. I am a ghost of my old self because of their deaths. I rarely eat now and recently... I cut myself. No one has notice the cuts because I do it were no one can see them. Sodapop suspects something is up. He nearly walked in on me hurting myself once. Scared the hell out of me.

"Ponyboy! Dinner!" I hear Darry call out. I put my drawing away and I realized... I was drawing Johnny and Dally...

"One second!" I called out. I cut myself on my upper arm slightly. Luckily it didn't bleed so I raced out. Sodapop set a plate in front of me as I sat down. He sat in front of me.

"I'm not eating till you do." he sighed. I stare at him for a second and when he stares back its like he looks into my mind. He walked over to me.

" Come with me to our room for a second Ponyboy." Sodapop doesn't say but demands. I know he means business because he only use Ponyboy when he is real irked about something or worried. I'm guessing right now it is both. When we walk in he closes the door.

"I'm giving you two choices- Tell me what's up or I'll force it outta ya." His face is stone cold as he says this.

"Um... I don't know what your-"

"PONYBOY!" He screams. " Just tell me!"

I gulp. I know I have to. But I don't want to

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**Ahhh that was short. But I shall post a new chapter soon. Maybe one of lone horse too. I need to... **

**OMG I HAD A FACIAL MASK ON AND WAS EATING SESIME SEED CANDY WHILE WRITING THIS! I feel I a girl... Wait...**

_**Enjoy and review! **_


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys... I'm making another chapter. plz tell me if it is good or not. be honest. because if enough people don't think it is good I'll** **stop**.** {p.s. to any friends reading this... no I don't have a problem don't worry. I'm looking at you ...mom of the group Xd **

**AND IM SOOOOO SORRY FOR DA LONG UPDATE**

**DISCLAIMER:_I own nothing... but I do own a book that got signed by an author and have a creepy ex math teacher._**

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_Some sort of window to your right_  
_As he goes left and you stay right_  
_Between the lines of fear and blame_  
_You begin to wonder why you came_

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I stared into Ponyboys eyes. They told me,

'help me. Save me from myself'

I didn't mean to start yelling at him, I just wanted to help him. I sighed as I looked out of the window.

_That's a very funny window... looks as if it is just glass held together by duck tape... Ahhhhh I need to focus on Ponyboy!_

" I can't tell you now... Later." Ponyboy sighs. I know if I try to question him any further he wont tell me anything. He is like a clam sometimes...

He walks out and I hear him yell 'Darry I'm going to the movies!' and then the door slams shut. I get a feeling in my get that something is not right so I climb out my window to follow him. Him being lost in his own little word never noticed me. He actually does go to the movies. It is play some chick flick called _The English Patient._ I felt like I lost my man card sitting through it. Pony got up and rapped his knuckles against his legs and looked around. It was only me and him standing their (actually I was squatting behind a trash basically stalking him). When he thought the coast was clear he walked towards the bathroom. I stomach dropped.

_Please don't do what I think you are going to!_

When 'we' got to the bathroom he pulled out his switch and effortlessly flicked it out. We started to put it up to his neck and I tackled him. He dropped the blade, luckly, and look as confused as hell.

"S-soda w-what are you doing here?"

" I'd like to ask you that too Ponyboy"

"Oh um... nothing."

"YOU WERE ABOUT TO CUT YOURSELF!"

"No... my um... neck was itching.."

"I may be dumb But I am NOT that dumb."

" Just leave me alone Soda!" Ponyboy tries to push me off of him but fails horribly. I get off of him and tell him to go straight home. I really wonder why I try with Pony. It is going to be one hell of a battle to get the old Ponyboy back...

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**My cross country coach got hit in the special area with a dodge ball today... AND TODAY WAS PAJAMA DAY ME GUSTA! **


	3. Chapter 3

**how to save a life- chapter 3 -**

_Where did I go wrong_

_I lost a friend_

_somewhere along in the bitterness._

Shoooooooooooooesssss. I got caught. Now the gang is bound to know about this. They will yell. They will call me weak. They also will no longer leave me alone. If only mother diddn't tell me to do that. Father told me not too. He is bound to be mad.

In case you didn't know who Mother and Father are... They are my voices. They tell me to do this stuff. Somethimes when I refuse to hurt my self they take over my body. I close my stupid green gray eyes. I try and think... When did the voices start? I think a couple of weeks after johnny's and Dally's death. I thought I was getting better... that was till I got the note. I must stay gold and perfect. But now I'm not gold. I'm just plain mental. I am not the only one who cuts in our gang though. Steve does. I walked in on him doing that. Scared me for sure.

_I jumped out the shower wrapping a towel loosely around my petiete waist. Not eating much has affected my body so much. ugly scars cover my thin body. I hated how I looked. From the natural alburn hair to my ugly green grey eyes. Soda said my hair and eyes were tuff... But I think they just look plain ugly. Not a ugly as Steve though... hahaha. Speaking of Steve. I see him in the living room. He is bended over... CUTTING HIMSELF!_

_" Steve! what are you doing?" I yell. Just because I do it doesn't mean he should! He jumps and drops the blade._

_" Oh erm Ponyboy! nothing!"_

_" Then why are you bleeding and have a blade?" I heard Steve mumble 'smart ass' before the said greaser said,_

_"Fine! iI was cutting myself! But I can tell You have be our scars. Soc's do not just do..." He is pointing to my bare chest where the most of my scars are, " That!"_

_" I won't tell if you don't tell on me!"_

_" Deal!"_

I wonder why Steve cutts and for how long? Is it the same reason as me? Because of too many deaths? Maybe. Or because of his father. I sighed as I walked through that front door. The gang still looks happy so Soda hasn't come home yet. I rush to my room as Darry opens his mouth. I'm not taking any chances. I stare out the window... A hour passes by and no Soda.. Once the clock by my bedside side shows that it is 1:00 I see Soda staggering home in the distance. I think he is... DRUNK!

Darry is going to mad! I I hope he passes out in that nice soft piece of grass he is passing by. I don't want for him to get yelled at. Plus he could use the excuse of socs. He has done it before. But unfortunatly he doesn't. Great. Soda prepare do be yelled at. I jump under my covers and prented I'm asleep as I hear Darry yell. Good thing Soda is too drunk out of his mind to remember the 'acciedent'.

" Go... Room!" I somewhat hear Darry yell

"What...Darry" Soda yells back. He storms in and it keeps all my self control to not smile. I always do that if I am acting like I'm sleeping and someone walks in.

"Ponyboy wake up!" Soda tells me while he pulls off my blanket.

"Hmm whaaa...?" I groan like I just got up.

" How did you sleep with all that yelling?"

"Is that what you woke me up to ask?"

"Hmmm... Maybe..."

"What? Soda let me go to sleep!"


End file.
